As a mom of four boys under five, you can find me most days with a messy bun in my hair, stains on my white shirt, and styling chipped fingernail polish. It’s no surprise that my life is hectic and my time is limited. Simple things such as taking a shower every day, putting on makeup, or getting dressed outside of my pajamas are things of luxury in my home. When there are little lives to care for there is not much time for myself. Can anyone relate?
For many years I found myself sitting at the Lord’s feet talking to Him about my one-day family. Dreaming of the little boys I would get to raise into men of God. And here I am living out the dreams and prayers that once filled my heart’s desires. But why did I find myself so stretched thin if I am living in God’s promise? For many years I was unaware of the toll that motherhood had taken on me. I refused to admit that I was struggling and didn’t know why. Here I was living out my passion and yet feeling completely drained. Raising little adults to love and serve the Lord is no small feat and many times I felt like it took my life to give them their life. But when we give so much of ourselves that we lose ourselves, everyone around us will feel the strain.
As a mama from the moment, we conceive life we give up ourselves. Our body, our time, our wants, and our needs. We no longer think of ourselves first, but put the needs of our children before our own without hesitation. It is a demonstration of God’s sacrificial love on this side of heaven. But there is a balance. One that I was terrible at. The balance of caring for my little gifts and husband and still caring for myself.
Making time to “lie down in green pastures” isn’t exactly what my days look like now. But rather I have learned the importance of taking time for myself and how to recognize pockets of quiet time within my days. God knows my season and He knows yours and if we are faithful to prioritize quieting our soul He is faithful to refresh it.